just a two hour drive.

this is from electric intifada.  very touching.

Seeing the Dome of the Rock
Najwa Sheikh writing from occupied Jerusalem, Live from Palestine, 22 July 2008

(Maureen Clare Murphy)

Some might think that I am overreacting about the short trip out of Gaza to a place only two hours away. But I would say to them that for me and so many other Palestinians in Gaza, it is not just a short trip, but rather a once-in-a-lifetime experience. The trip was a window that opened suddenly to allow in the fresh air and joy of life, and one that I may never experience again.

Life is never fair. For some people things are so easy and available, while for others, they are only a dream. I cannot find an answer if you ask me why I didn’t apply for permission to leave Gaza earlier. All I can say that the life in Gaza is suffocating to the extent that it drains all the feelings of being alive, all the feelings of tasting and experiencing any source of joy, so why try?

After I reached the office in Jerusalem where I finally met with my colleagues whom I had never seen before, only known through the phone, they decided to take me on a quick tour around the city. I felt so overwhelmed with excitement and anxiety, I refused to take a break or to rest even though I am eight months pregnant. But I did not have the same feeling of tiredness as I used to have in Gaza. It is as if the air outside the borders of Gaza is a healthy fresh air that energizes me and provides me with an endless power.

We took the car and went around in East Jerusalem. To my surprise, I found myself standing on the Mount of Olives, where in front of my eyes was an endless scene of beautiful landscape. Past the trees and buildings, there it stood. So old and so new, so honorable and humble, an impressive and beautiful edifice. The Dome of the Rock. I had to ask myself, am I dreaming? Is this all true? How difficult it was for me to get here, to see for the first time this holy place in reality and not through photos or stories of those who had visited it before.

The experience meant so much to me that I suddenly broke into tears. I felt that I finally found my inner peace. The holiness of the place affected my entire being, it captured my body and soul. I felt so weak and unable to resist, I was crying like a baby who finally found what he had lost a long time ago. The mosque was there standing in front of my eyes, with all its holiness, mystery and secrets, something unique, and a wonder to the world in its carvings, design, and architecture.

The golden coverings of the dome glittered as if to fend off all of the attacks against it while calling people to pray and pay it close attention. The glittering of the dome’s exterior was so bright that I could not look straight at it. It was so beautiful, I wanted to watch and never stopped, hypnotized by its holiness. I felt such an attraction to the place that I never wanted to leave or see anything else. My heart was pounding, terrified by the idea that this will be my first and last time to see it, and that I have to record every single tiny detail so as not to forget it. I was so scared to miss something that I shouldn’t. It is indescribable the feeling that captured me, I was paralyzed to see such a holy, old, majestic, and mysterious thing.

I wanted to fly over the place to see every corner, to touch every stone, to listen to every whisper that the walls, alleyways and stones can tell or say. But I know that I would need ages to understand the mystery of such a holy place.

It was only a quick tour of the city. But I cannot keep in the feelings of excitement that will crush me until I have to return to Gaza soon. But until then, I go and pray at the Dome of the Rock, my precious place.

Najwa Sheikh is a Palestinian refugee from al-Majdal located just north of the Gaza Strip. Shiekh has lived in refugee camps in Gaza her entire life. She is married with three children.

still alive.

yes, i’m still here.  yes, i’m still in eugene.  nothing too much to report.  i’m just hanging with friends.  today was a quiet day here on 4th ave, working and reading “the spirit catches you and you fall down” for actual pleasure.  amazing, eh?  i’m trying to get through it because it belongs here in eugene, and today i went to my very favorite book store and picked up bonhoeffer’s ‘letters and papers from prison’ and an anne lamott book, both recommended by my new pastor.  i also picked up a book about dissenting israeli’ voices in the conflict.  there are a couple of other books i wanted to track down, but couldn’t find.  one author i did find, but not the book i wanted and because i need to stop spending so much money here so i didn’t pick it up.  i’m busily picking up other things i’ve forgotten or need or stuff to battle allergies with or or or.  so.  anyhow.  ramble.  i’m here, that’s the point.  but going home a couple of days early.  i need to get back and focused on phd work.  plus, it has occurred to me that my trip to palestine changed me for eugene too, not just for logan.  i’m in a period of transition in my life, and the bulk of that transition will take place in logan, not eugene.  even though my friends here are so supportive and so loving and i feel incredibly blessed by their gifts to my life, something just feels out of place for me here.  i think i’ve got a place of peace in logan and i’m feeling a need to go visit, so i’ll go back early so i can go there and sit and…. try to be still.  anyhow.  ramble.    plus i want to see if a new friend wants to get together for coffee.  blah blah blah. 

14.5 hours.

it’s supposed to take 12.5 hours:

6.26am - i fly out of bed.  i didn’t hear the alarm because i got up in the middle of the night and slept in my living room - something i do when i can’t sleep.  it’d been going off since 5am - b/c i was supposed to get up at 5.30am to pack last minute things calmly to leave at 6am.

6.36am - everything has been manically packed and i’m in my car.

delay 1.  the usual 20 minute route to the interstate is under construction (i knew this), so i have to go 1/2 hour out of my way.

10.15am.  mountain home.  stopping a bit early because i gotta pee and coffee is gone.

delay 2.  also gotta put hair up, and send an email to work about calling in to the conference room, because i forgot the night before.  on the q this is a little slow.

11.15 am.  i’m in boise!  whoo hoo.  great time.  i rock.

12.15pm.  ORRREEEGOONNNN!!!!  and it’s back to 11.15am because of time zone change.  whoo hoo!  i’ll be there by 6.30 PST.

2.00pm (MST).  just leaving la grande.  i’ll call in to the meeting.

delay 3.  i kept loosing them, so i pull over for 1/2 hour.

5.00 pm (MST).  the dalles.  i’m kickin’ it.  great, i lost time, but still, i’m doing okay, not horrible.

delay 4. grass fire that forces me to cross 2 SCARY bridges and go 1/2 hour out of my way.

7.00 pm (MST).  whoo hoo.  i’ve been soo delayed that i completely miss rush hour traffic in portland.  God must exist (He wins, yet again.  hahahaha).

9.00 pm (MST); 8.00pm PST.  EEEUUUUUGGGEEEEENNNNNEEEEE!!  i freakin’ made it.  14.5 hours later.

1.00 am (MST); Midnight PST.  Wired from coffee and such.  crap.  exhausted.  must post in blog.

long drive.

usually the drive to eugene doesn’t seem so long. today it is just dragging. at hermiston. 5 hours or so to go……

a weight lifted off my shoulders

i just gave my lds quad to the intern at the church i’m going to.  she’s doing an independent study on the lds church.  it feels like SUCH a weight off my shoulders.  i don’t have to carry them around forever.   i didn’t want to throw them away though. this just feels SO right, and so appropriate - to go to good use for someone in my new church.

evidence i may have a life.

i don’t have much of one, but here’s evidence that i have at least a little bit of one

i’m the short one (for those of you who have heard me refer to myself as ‘the short chick’ do you see now why i do that?). this was taken tonight - monday night - at the mattis’s house. i need to write an ode to the mattis’s sometime soon. they are the oldest 2 folks in the picture. they are truly a gift to me and i’m so glad i get to spend an evening a month with them and other friends there. anyhow, i’ll share the story soon.

oh, and because i can’t seem to make a post w/o mentioning palestine these days, i won’t let you down. notice what is on my wrist:

what? that’s the palestinian flag. and a heart. i bought it at a women’s co-op in hebron.

psst. it’s not your land.

Photostory: Breaking the Silence’s tour disrupted.. pssst. settlers in hebron, it’s not your land that kiryat arba is on. you stole it, illegally. no wonder you don’t want anyone there, you know what you’ve done is wrong. very wrong.