rivervision

i’ve been thinking a lot about palestine again. my thoughts back to that land hem and haw depending on the week or the moment. when i went back east i threw a book into my backpack to read “we belong to the land: the story of a palestinian israeli who lives for peace and reconciliation” by abuna elias chacour. i honestly didn’t think i’d pick it up because i’m not known for reading a lot of books these days, but i did and found myself surprised when i was drawn into it to the point that i was carrying it with me where ever i went on the trip. one afternoon actually found me on the beach, alone, reading for a couple of hours while others napped. i’ve not done that in a long long time – just read for such pleasure.

i feel guilty that i’ve not gone back, that i’ve not found the time or the money. i feel like a failure because i did propose a project to someone which fell flat. i have secret hopes that through the class i’m taking from clint that i’ll be able to find some connection that will take me back to palestine – not for pleasure, but for partnership. i worry that i’ll never ever get back to there to discover what work there is for me to do.

tonight i was looking for a new quote for my email signature. the one i have is from suheir hammad, from her poem “on the brink of.. for rachel corrie”: “on the brink of war may we remember how divine human beings can be.” it’s a great quote, but we aren’t on the brink of war. i am trying to find quotes that talk about the land, the importance of the the land to those who were forced off. i found this from her poem jerusalem sunday:

this city is wind
breathe it
sharp
this history is blood
swallow it
warm
this sunday is holy
be it
god

but read in an email signature, by people who don’t necessarily know me, how will it come across? plus in academia there’s the whole “DON’T MENTION GOD!” thing.

then there’s this, from her poem “this is to certify that my mother is now natural”

mama you natural woman
of sun water air
given a nation though no land

or from the same poem:

you who makes rhinestones
sparkle diamonds sequin your daughters? ears with your laugh
memorized (but didn’t have) dead presidents backwards
and forwards for citizenship a place to lay your head
but always told us
take me home when i’m dead

especially that last line.. “take me home when i’m dead” just cries out to me the love of that land! but taken out of context, in an email signature?

then there’s the words of abuna elias chacour.. a palestinian israeli melkite priest who says

“To me Christ is not an idea, a philosophy, a theology or a system of thinking. Christ is not even a church. Jesus Christ is a living person, the living, loving God. He is my Compatriot from Galilee.”

but that doesn’t work. i could go on and on – i just can’t find what i’m wanting to say about palestine in the few resources i have at hand. honestly, though, i don’t think it would be possible to capture what someone like suheir hammad or abuna elias chacour feel about that land in one sentence. now that i’m writing this, i think it would do the land and it’s people a great disservice. one sentence is not long enough to capture a heart’s worth of feelings about something that important. i guess what i can do is to continue to learn about the land and never let go of my want to go back to do what i can to serve the palestinian people. considering i am an american it’s the least i can hope to do.

i just took a moment and surfed over to my quotes page.. i found this by suheir hammad from her rachel corrie poem:
“I have been loved, I have loved and I know that those who de-humanize their enemy are only doing so to themselves. Peace work is justice work is God’s work.”

maybe it’ll do for now for that signature problem. we’ll see.