March 22, 2003
i'm outta here.

i'm addicted to the web. i'll probably be checking in from places afar. may all of your loved ones be safe. maybe when i get back there will be peace in the world and i'll be able to relax a bit. yeah, right.

anyhow, i'm off to a place where i'm not attacked for my views on this goddess forsaken war. i can't wait.

but i'm gonna miss the babies big time. its times like this when i realize how much i absolutely adore them.

okay. may you all be in peace. talk to you soon.. maybe.

Posted by brooke at 09.52.20 PM

March 21, 2003
for sandee and her daughter.

Women's Bodies
by Eve Decker / Rebecca Riots (www.rebeccariots.com)
c 1998

A piece of the history of Western Civilization
is that women were permanent children under the law
You went from your father to your husband
and you had no rights at all
Does it strike you as connected to this piece of our past
that the women of today we hold up as ideal
are without exception small, slender and youthful
No room for variation, no room to heal.

Chorus:
Don't teach me to hate my body
I'm a woman I've been around a while
Don't teach me to hate my body
I have a woman's body not a child's

I stopped watching television and looking at magazines
But I still feel oppressed
by our culture's expectations of me
Don't put me on a metal scale
and tell me I'm not small enough
With furrowed brow you imply that if I'm not small
I won't be loved.

(Chorus)

Lets look at the roots of this sickly tree
We're livin' in the branches of 5000 years of patriarchy
Don't let it hypnotize you remove yourself from the scene
Your body's beautiful
the problem is the context we've been in

To be independent, strong and big
threatens the status quo
It's only been 75 years since women had the vote
The laws have changed misogyny went underground
Anytime you hate your body society's doing just fine
Keeping you down

(Chorus)

Posted by brooke at 07.26.24 PM

March 20, 2003
it has been a long 2 days.

or has it only been a day? apparently i got on the news last night. i missed it, i was watching the wrong channel. i was at a candlelight vigil from 7.30-10.45 last night. i had to go once i heard him speak. we all sang "dona nobis pacem" together.. over and over and over..

today (thursday), i was going to go to the die in at 7am, but didn't make it. i slept till 11, and then i made it to the federal building. i was there for 2.5 hours. then a few quick errands, a meeting and back to the federal building for another 4 hours.

its been important to be there. and now i'm leaving for 2.5 weeks and i feel like i'm abandoning everyone. i should be excited, but i need to be HERE. my friend r tells me that i'm going to take the message of peace from america to greece. that i'm going to let the world know that though all they hear is that americans support the war, that is, in fact, the very opposite. if people gather in chicago by the thousands, just because.. if the financial district of san francisco can be shut down, just because.. then its true, the american people are all not behind this war. r says i need to let the world know this.

and i i do have to admit that i'm glad to get the fuck out. i'm tired of being told that i don't support the troops (umm.. duh. i'm protesting for peace, i want them to come home NOW to their families), tired of being told that i'm a traitor, that i hate this country. i'm hearing that americans who support peace are being welcomed in europe, that those who support bush should be quiet. i'm glad to be going someplace where i'm not attacked by ignorant angry assholes, by people who see this as a national humanity instead of a global humanity. i'm glad to get the fuck out.

but my new comrades will be left behind, and i will miss them. i'm meeting so many wonderful people. dialouging and hugging, supporting and organizing, showing up at the federal building and seeing smiles on people's faces when they see me. i hope they don't forget me, i hope that when i come i can jump back into the peace movement where i've left it. i hope they still need me.

on that note. i need to go to sleep. die-in in the morning. bright and early.

Posted by brooke at 11.45.26 PM

March 19, 2003
it has started.

it has started. may peace be with you all. may love and safety be with your loved ones. may those of you who have friends, family, those dear to your heart over there welcome them safely home very soon.

on a more positive note. happy 32nd birthday zackie. i love you so very much. i'm such a lucky girl to have you as my brother.

Posted by brooke at 07.22.59 PM

March 17, 2003
in light of it all

in light of it all.. being called idealistic, and a fantasizer. being told that i am not patriotic and i hate my country. having people say that i don't support the people that this government has sent to iraq. reading the comments placed here recently in an attempt to engage me in argument over war vs. peace. in spite of it all, i refuse to give up on my belief in peace and non-violence.

there are times when to let go and there are times when to hang on, this is one of those times when i choose to hang on to something i have believed in all my life.

i used to say that i wished i'd been around during the 60's, during the peace movement. i've got my own now. i've got a president who is off his rocker, a man who believes in holy wars, a man who claims to be the leader of this great country but chooses to forget the very tenants which he has been elected to move forward. i've got a country full of people who tell me how anti-american i am because i won't tow the line. i've got people who go for the quick fix of violence all around me. i don't need the 60's anymore, i've got the 00's. this is my time in the line and i will walk it proudly until the day i am told the line has finally reached the end.

there were hopes last week amongst the peace community. leaders of other countries saying that for once the world is not waging war, instead it is waging peace. there were reports that the father of this president, a former president himself, had joined with a bunch of plutocrats to say that this was bad. i was told that tony blair is under such scrutiny by his populace that if he supports this war he will be out of office in a millisecond.

but tonight the hopes have died down. the hopes of the millions who's voices people refuse to hear have been crushed. i found myself near tears. i found myself seeking out comfort, where comfort couldn't be found.

but i will tow this line. i won't let it go. in light of it all everything i have known all my life, everything i have believed in, everything i have clung to and made a part of my heart-- that each life is incredible, that all no human being is worth more than another, that we should strive to love even our enemies-- has not left me. tonight, in light of it all i refuse to give up my belief that peace and non-violence are the only answers.

Posted by brooke at 11.02.22 PM

March 16, 2003
candlelight vigil.

i went to the candelight vigil tonight. it was a vigil in conjunction with the one that archbishop desmond tutu called for. it was so peaceful, such a wonderful change from yesterday. it almost felt like we were healing, healing we all needed from a peace rally gone awry.

i did something really gutsy. we were all singing, someone would all start and then the crowd would slowly join in. at somepoint i moved into the middle of the crowd and then i found that we were without song. so i suggested "singing for our lives." its a great song, its easy to learn and people can make up their own verses. i started with we are a gentle angry people, then on to a peaceful, loving people and then others , and other people started their own verses. it was incredible. absolutely lovely. then we all had a chance to share our thoughts. i told the crowd that i was about to leave for greece and that, thanks to them, i would be able to take with me to the people i meet that yes, we are a country of peace loving people. many people wished me a safe journey.

while i was there i looked up at the stars. i thought of many people who share this great sky of ours. i thought about lisa, who sent me the candle i held, and then my stepfather, my mom, and her friend lynda. i realized then that in a week and 2 days i'll be able to look up at the sky and for the first time in almost a year jim and i would be seeing dark at the same time and light at the same time. well, almost, we'll be one hour different. i thought about all the people in ethiopia that he's trying to help, i thought that though we might be there organized about iraq that we were there for all the people in the world, including the people my stepfather is helping. it will be a great joy for me to be able to look at the darkness and know that jim and i are close enough to share that darkness, and share that light. i wish i could get closer, but i'll get that in july. but this is better than the space that sits between us now.

no, its not been till recently that i've realized how much i miss my stepfather. he's a good man. my mom fucked up the second time, and the first-- well, she didn't fuck up cause she got zack and she and my dad make much better friends who care very much for each other than they did lovers. this third time she got someone that she is truly in love with and someone that i love very much. this ethiopia bit, though jim is doing good work, its too long. i miss him. and sharing darkness and lightness with him is just one more reason to look forward to my adventure across the atlantic.

Posted by brooke at 10.45.29 PM

nearly slept all day!

didn't get up till 1 this afternoon. agh! i guess you could say i was tired from the events of yesterday. and i've been tired from all last week. i've got a lot to do this week. i can't believe that in a week i'll be on a train to seattle. and then from seattle off to london and then athens and then mytilini. *agh* i don't believe its happening!

a video to watch and a discussion and then a vigil today. thats after i go work out. i really should set out to try to find my slingshot. and start putting everything i need i'm taking in my bag.

on that note, i'm outta here.

Posted by brooke at 01.46.25 PM