March 15, 2003
what i saw.

the following is a recording of what i saw in downtown eugene today. we had a peace march and then a rally. there was an estimated 3,000-4,000 people. it was all peaceful till.. and here are my thoughts on it.

after 2.30 the anarchists led a group from the rally down to high. this had been known since the beginning of the rally at the courthouse. there were cops standing in front of them. i think they were told to disperse but i'm not sure, because the cops weren't very loud in their orders. they also did not tell anyone where to go as far as dispersing. the peace monitors did what we could to let people who were going down there to let them know about the police presence. i saw someone from sfp and told her what i was telling everyone else, she said that she'd do what she could about keeping the people around her settled down. i later saw her involved in drumming at the stand off with police at 7th and high. the crowd eventually turned around and marched up 7th to pearl. it was there that things got heavy. the crowd at the plaza turned their attention from what was going on on the stage to what was happening in the street. i was told later that one of the anarchists ran to the stage 2 times and grabbed the microphone. i wasn't told what this person said. there were a group of police in full riot gear. in front of them were police cars who came down 7th towards the crowd gathered in the street with their sirens on. there continued to be a stand off in the street. at some point a group sat down and linked arms. the cops in riot gear came down and shot whatever they shoot at 2 people. they arrested one woman who i heard later was just trying to cross the street. the crowd from the plaza by this time was very focused on the action in the street. during the time down at high street it sounded like the organizers did everything they could to bring people back to the plaza. but this time anything like that was futile and breakdown of the stage area started, i think around 3-3.10, because there was fear of tear gas and rioters breaking equipment. anyhow, back to the street. the police came down and started arresting people who were sitting down and locked arms. they also had a group faced with their whatever guns at the crowd on the plaza. the crowd was yelling at the police. there was still a group of people lined up along 7th watching this, and on the sidewalk across from the plaza. eventually the police had whatever guns pointing at the crowd along 7th and those on the sidewalk opposite the plaza. the crowd continued to yell at the police. the police arrested everyone who was sitting and linked arms. the police continued to point their whatever guns at the crowd. the crowd began to get on the sidewalks, the police continued to point their whatever guns. eventually the police got in their wagons and left. all this was over by 3.27 (as i checked on my cell phone).

and on a personal note. i am rather ticked at the anarchists for doing what they did. i don't believe that those who were the leaders organized the march off to protest for peace in iraq. i believe that the main ones usurped our event for their own agenda. i am also angry at the police. they were not loud in their directions, they did not have to come at this group in full riot gear, there was also no need for their whatever guns. i personally witnessed one woman being very upset, i myself was almost brought to tears by their actions and i know another woman was too. my distrust of them only continues to grow. i don't know what can be done about the anarchists vs the police, i just wish it wouldn't happen at events calling for peace, because neither group shows a willingness to be peaceful.

Posted by brooke at 08.38.06 PM

i should be asleep now.

yes, i should be. i didn't work out today, i spent a lot of my day with anita, and ann at times, helping her to set up her imac. we had our machines on side by side. that was cool.

i found my lots and lots of maxell batteries. this will save me money. and i've sprayed my raincoat. if its not dry by morning i'm gonna put that sucker in the dryer.. its supposed to rain tommorrow. fleece pants and a raincoat. tevas and non-cotton socks. i'll be fine. and the big pack cause its got the rain thingy on it.

on that note, i've really got to be alseep now.

oh, i've lost my slingshot organizer. all my addresses for post cards are in there. i'm so screwed.

Posted by brooke at 12.13.00 AM

March 14, 2003
oh my goddess!!

the counter on this blog is now into *single* digits.. the counter to my trip. i CANNOT believe it! i have a lot to do between now and then, but thankfully we've decided to push the date for baring witness off a month.

the big event is tommorrow and then a candlelight vigil on sunday, one that desmond tutu has called for. a meeting on thursday for baring witness, getting together with randy on tuesday night, and sitting in on a rop board meeting on saturday. hopefully i'll go on a land visit this coming up week too.

i've got to get: batteries for the digital camera and my cd player, an extra battery for randy's camera, food and litter for the creatures, film!!, spray waterproof stuff for my raincoat. i've got laundry to do and i should probably clean my car out. oh yeah, and get more vitamins. and do some serious kitty cuddling. right now i've got a p girl curled up on my left arm.

today i helped a friend set up her i-mac. unfortunatley we couldn't get everything set up-- the stupid modem wouldn't work!! even with being online with tech support for a long time. anyhow, in exchange for that i got a juicer!!! a heavy duty one at that. i'm so excited to have a juicer!!! i've been wanting one for a long time. my friend and her partner got tired of how hard this one is to use and clean up, so they got a new one. i'm so psyched.

on that note, i need to probably head to the y. i've finally started to read "the conquest of violence: the gandhian philosophy of conflict" ... its intense hard reading, but its good, really good.

Posted by brooke at 05.10.34 PM

March 13, 2003
dad's new animal family member.

look who decided to join my dad's animal family..

sunook.

sunook joins 6 cats, who, from reports, has been keeping her in her dog place. :)

Posted by brooke at 11.24.31 PM

memo to self..

memo to self: remember that you hate planning last minute events.

memo to otherself: don't take on helping to plan 2 last minute events, esp. when one of those events possibly lands on the day before you leave for a big trip.

Posted by brooke at 04.22.06 PM

thin skin.

i have decided on a change of policy on this website. i'm not going to promise anymore that i won't delete comments that bother me. call it wussing out, call it not being able to walk my talk anymore.... i'm getting involved here in eugene, i'm putting myself into the community. today i even got an invitation to sit in on a board meeting of an organization who's board i was on, but left due to my illness. it was so incredibly warming to know that i am still appreciated there in light of what i saw as a failure.

my skin is thinner than i often care to admit to anyone, including myself. right now i can only handle the negative hits that go along with activism from only one place.. i don't have the stamina to walk my talk both virtually and non-virtually. my responsibility is to my community here in eugene, my choice is about facing it here along side others that i can see, feel, touch.

i must do this for my own sanity.

Posted by brooke at 12.35.18 AM

March 12, 2003
6.5 hours of sleep.

i got 6.5 hours of sleep last night. no, thats not a lot for me.. i average 9 or so hours.

the crystal natch episode from last night ended up blowing up big time. my email was sent public, and then the man attacked in ways never expected. after that the group got on *his* case for the way he treated me. and then things settled down, and i decided for my own peace of mind i needed to apologize. i did, and then he did. it all worked itself out and the group acknowledged that all of us are under a lot of stress right now *and* that we are all on the same side.

so tonight with that in mind i go to the peace vigil. the prowar people have grown in numbers. they stand in our spots. i get wind of a confrontation and i go into peace monitor mode.... i look around and know where others in the peace monitor group are. but nothing happens.. thank the goddess. then i almost go into confontation mode.. i think about saying something to these people about how we peace activits love this country too, but i decide not too. i know that these people won't listen to my reason and if i attempt to try to find common ground, re: we support the troops too, but i know that my attempts will only go on deaf ears. i know that we might very well start to shout and that won't accomplish anything. so, i cross the street, get in my car and drive away. and i feel more at peace.

Posted by brooke at 07.17.50 PM

i think i need to just step away..

oh goddess.. i just did it again. i sent off a really mean note to someone who said that crystal natch was the beginning of facism. yeah, the guy ment kristallnacht. (and no, it wasn't the beginning)

agh. i need to step away from the computer. okay, maybe not. i need to deal with the reservation for athens. but *then* i need to focus more on my non-violence weblog.

Posted by brooke at 01.43.55 AM

March 11, 2003
ramblings..

i've been very angry over the last few days. its been incredibly stressful for a couple of reasons i choose not to go into. other reasons i've already gone into. its definetly not been good.

but i have been going to the y everyday.. which is excellent. i've been going at night to swim. night time = no lane sharing. but night time swimming also means that i don't get to sleep till late, re: 2am.

my illness has been raring its head but i'm managing to keep it at bay with this crazy busy week of organizing baring witness, helping with the students for peace action on saturday, starting up my involvement with peace in eugene, and the vigil tommorrow night. oh yeah, and i'm doing serious countdown for my trip. "in 2 weeks at this time i should be over the atlantic..... in 2 weeks at this time i should be walking around london..... in 2 weeks at this time i should be in athens just about to board my flight to mytilini....." and in 2 weeks at the time of the writing of this i should be just arriving in mytilini. the wonderful women at sappho travel sent me a great long postcard picture of the main harbor area of mytilini, i'm starting to carry it around with me, looking and seeing new things each time i look.

yeah, so you could say i'm getting excited. i can't believe that this trip that i made flight reservations for 5 months ago is actually about to happen! its going to be happening 2 weeks from now, NOT 2 months! needless to say i'm going to be talking to the doc about stocking up on the xanax and maybe even some dramamine cause i've never spent 12 hours on a boat before and i might very well get sea sick. although i doubt it.

a lot of the actual "what i'm going to do there" is going to be fly by the moment.. depending on bus schedules around the island. i'm a planning freak and i want to have every detail hammered down NOW, but i can't. so i'm just dealing. i don't even have a reservation at hotel sappho for day 1, but the women at sappho travel tell me it won't be a problem at all.. i'm sure they would have let me know differently if i had to make a reservation.. which i actually did in skala eressos. and i don't have to make ferry reservations back to athens until i get there. oh and have i mentioned that i'm going to go swimming in the agean no matter how cold it is? and i'm sure the locals will think i'm a freak, but once i explain i hope they'll just think i'm a little odd but not totally disrespectful of them.. i'm told it will be cold, but i don't care. i'm not travelling half way around the world and *not* going swimming. anyhow, i'm used to the cold water, i live in oregon.

so, i'll shut up. i can't wait to leave, get away for a couple of weeks.

did i mention i'm reading "the conquest of violence: the gandhian philosophy of conflict"? i just picked it up. intense, but its gonna be really good. satyagraha.. thats where it is... yeah, dig-it, thats where it all is.

Posted by brooke at 11.59.28 PM

long day..

good goddess.. what a day. and its not over yet.

therapy, then a meeting about baring witness, then home to email folks about the meeting. 2 more conversations with the other 2 organizers, a lead on a possible photographer, running out to look at a potential piece of land, time on the phone helping one of the leaders of the peace monitors admin a mailing list and export an address book (thanks patti!), conversation about police and marches (specifically the one on saturday)-- i'm waiting to hear back from someone else, and i'm going to go swimming in a few minutes. oh and i didn't mention the crisis call to mom, and the dashed off email about getting the hs student.

Posted by brooke at 07.41.42 PM

March 10, 2003
people should know this about my interaction.

one of the last things i said to the member of the military that CONTACTED ME first was that i hoped he looked the person in the eye that he was about to kill.

HE then responded that he hoped i would join the iraqi army so he could look ME in the eye.

i was a bitch at times to the guy, but i also told him i was doing this to bring him home safely to his family and that i believe in the dignity of all human lives, HIS INCLUDED.

people here might think i don't accept others beliefs. think what you think, I DON'T CARE. you don't know me, you don't know all of me. this is my place and i am a loud mouth.. but before you personally judge me, try asking me about the time that i corresponded bonnie mabon-- who's husband was leads the fight AGAINST gay rights in this states, and ask me how i felt about her beliefs. ask me about how i saw her side, even though i disagreed. and her husband's organization, its not exactly a nice anti-gay rights group, its vicious. its cruel, the man has no respect for any human life. ASK me about my interactions about politics and religion with my grandmother, a born again christian. ASK me about how last week the man who was standing on the corner during our peace vigil with a pro war sign and how i didn't ask him to leave but to bring his sign out of traffic so that people could cross the street safely, how i told him that his perspective was not wrong, i just disagreed with it. but i wanted safety to happen.

LEARN MORE ABOUT ME.

but of course, people judge because they only choose to see one side of a person. i feel sorry for all of you who look so black and white. i also feel sorry for you because you don't understand that this is my space and i say what i want, that i use this space as a forum for my political beliefs, that i'm a loud mouth but probably far more accepting than any of you could ever be.

ask me what it is like to be a mentally ill (i suffer from severe depression) disabled, fat, single, peace loving, non-violence believing in lesbian who only fits into mainstream society because of the color of my skin and the fact that my family is middle class. ask me what it is like to have to come out of the closet about EVERYTHING. and ask me if sometimes i get tired and angry about all of it. because i do. i hold my head high most of the time and am proud of me, but sometimes it all wears on me.

i'm angry and i get to be. and right now i own my anger. DO ANY OF YOU WHO JUDGE ME EVER OWN YOUR ANGER?

i'm done. go away if you don't like me. go away if you can't stand that i'm a loud mouth.

Posted by brooke at 06.41.33 PM

dalai lama prayer

i posted this over at discussions about non-violence too.

"For as long as space endure,
And for as long as living beings remain,
Until then may I, too, abide
To dispel the misery of the world."
-His Holiness, the Dalai Lama in is Nobel Peace Prize acceptance speech.

i have been very angry over the past 18 hours. incredibly angry. i had a blow up with a neighbor, i have servicemen emailing me and telling me that they hope that i am at the other end of their rifles and i have the stress of daily life and getting ready for my trip.

i need to let go of it, i need to let go of my anger. and i need to do it now.

Posted by brooke at 01.57.50 PM

right now i really hate w. bush

i've been corresponding with a member of the military and his buddies over the last few days. a lot of hate has been thrown around. i'll just say this-- i hate george w. bush more than anyone else in this world, because they say they fight for peace and i vigil for peace. george w. bush is tearing this nation apart, and he doesn't give a damn. george w. bush does not believe in the sanctitiy of all human life. ALL HUMAN LIFE, not just american ones. george w. bush has never served in war.. how can he lead a country to war when he's never been on the front lines. he is an upper class prince who is so out of touch with reality i can't believe it. AND THE FUCKED UP THING is that people want to believe that their government is doing the right thing, they listen to the propoganda. well dammit, this is ridiculous.

right now i really hate this country. AND YES, I'M GETTING THE FUCK OUT. i'm leaving for greece in 2 weeks and i very might well stay there. THAT WILL MAKE ALL OF YOU WAR MONGERS HAPPY. hate me all you want.

sometimes i get sick of being nice, and believing in non violence cause i'd just like to slap a few people. really smack them hard, try to get some sense into them. and sometimes i get sick of being on the side of peace.. it'd be a hell of a lot easier if i believed in violence. THEN PEOPLE WOULDN'T HATE ME.

yes, i hate other people and i'm welcomed into the fold of this fucking country. yeah, a country created by people who left to escape hate.

makes a lot of fucking sense, doens't it?

FUCK FUCK FUCK.

Posted by brooke at 02.17.35 AM

you know you are obsessed when..

you stay up WAY FREAKIN' LATE to get everything right on the new weblog. i mean, i was going to go to sleep at 11pm tonight. but who knows what time it is now.

Posted by brooke at 01.43.07 AM

March 09, 2003
discussions about non-violence

okay.. its not pretty. but i don't care, its functional. discussions about non-violence.. the first post, violence is.. non-violence is.. come, participate!

Posted by brooke at 11.52.20 PM

this is what i've been up to this weekend

reprinted without permission

March 9, 2003

Monitors reach for peaceful rallies

By Diane Dietz 
The Register-Guard

The depth and sophistication of Eugene's peace activists have emerged in the past several weeks as they have during times of international conflict during past decades.

Professionals skilled in managing human behavior - psychologists, social workers, mediators - are training a new cadre of volunteers to keep the peace during the expected mass demonstrations in the downtown streets.

Their presence is a comfort to Eugene police and to community leaders alike. "You have to give a lot of credit to the peace group organizers," said Jeannine Parisi, coordinator of the Eugene Police Commission.

Rabbi Yitzhak Husbands-Hankin of Temple Beth Israel watched the activists develop and mature over the past three decades, and he sees an orderliness and focus in what they do. "There's a depth of commitment and a seriousness of thought that goes into the action," he said.

The city is home to thousands who've been formally trained in soothing an anxious crowd. With each new conflict - from Vietnam to El Salvador to the gulf war - a new crop was inducted into the local peace corps. For instance, the annual Oregon Country Fair provides periodic training in nonviolent crowd control.

"There are people who have taken this for 20 years, literally," said Jude Bannister, who has helped teach the fair's course for the past three years. "There are all these little seeds that are planted every year, and they're growing."

In a separate effort, Vip Short and Mark Siemens geared up their "peace monitor" training and taught a dozen volunteers in January and a dozen more Saturday.

Siemens, a PeaceHealth therapist and coordinator of social work for the Johnson Unit, said he knows he'll be asked to teach whenever the weekly protests at the Federal Building swell.

"It's like being in the National Guard," he joked. "You'll never know when you'll have an active duty weekend."

Siemens and Short, a chiropractic physician, have provided the peace monitor training periodically since the early 1980s, when they spent a year with a group engaged in an "intellectually rigorous" study of the principles of nonviolence.

They read the works of Gandhi, Martin Luther King Jr. and - importantly, they said - "Conquest of Violence" by Joan Bondurant.

They became hard-core adherents, but they're willing to teach short course strategies for specific purposes, such as peace monitoring at demonstrations. Their free, two- to four-hour training sessions draw a range of volunteers.

On Saturday that included a 35-year-old massage therapist in a tie-dyed T-shirt, a 53-year-old computer system administrator in a fleece jacket and cropped silver hair and a 15-year-old Marcola High School sophomore wearing steel-toed boots and a sweatshirt emblazoned with a death metal skull.

Engineer Bill Ganser said he came to get ready for war. "We have two more years of craziness ahead of us," he said, "and it's time to prepare personally."

Siemens said he'd like to train enough volunteers to maintain a 1-20 ratio of volunteers to protesters. Short said he'd like volunteers to infuse every crowd.

"We want a community of peace monitors," he said. "We want The Hague to say, `Get Eugene on the phone.' "

Eugene peace activists say the essential piece of staging a peaceful demonstration is to be utterly clear about what the intent is, beginning with the advertising and continuing throughout the event. Then, the goal is to keep the action true to its intent, Siemens said.

But before the demonstration begins, peace monitors have to look inside themselves and recognize their own potential for violence, thinking of a time they were violent and coursing with adrenaline. "Adrenaline," he said, "is not the thinking person's chemical. ... What happens in you happens in others."

Siemens counseled the trainees to see the truth that each person brings to the event, be they pro-war demonstrators, hecklers or anarchists.

The key is to be curious about their point of view and empathetic about how they are feeling - for instance, a mother who is angry because her son died in the Persian Gulf and who thinks the demonstrations are a betrayal of her family legacy.

"That person deserves to be heard. We need to hear them out and relate to the stress they're feeling," he told the volunteers.

Techniques include striking a friendly and welcoming pose - arms down, palms open - when talking to an agitated attendee. It involves demonstrating that the peacekeeper heard what the other person said by repeating parts of it back.

Peacekeeping may mean getting in between the bodies of angry demonstrators and counterdemonstrators. A group of peacekeepers can surround an angry demonstrator in a loose circle or "bubble" and gently walk him or her away from the crowd.

Or the peace monitor can ask the crowd to move back a step or two.

"If you insist on going to where the hottest person is, you may be missing the best intervention," Siemens said.

Anarchists, some of whom regard the peace monitors in the pejorative as junior police, are a challenge. Siemens stresses respecting them for "the piece of the truth they bring," and gently asking them to wait until the planned demonstration is over.

Siemens said he tries to remind them that the consequences of their actions do not fall on them alone. He suggested the peace monitors link their arms and turn their back on anarchists who are disruptive or violent.

His strategy: "Don't yell at them. Don't engage them. Don't give them extra energy or attention."

The peace monitors are also uneasy with regard to police. They said they want to act as liaisons without fear police will pressure them to provide information on anarchists or other protest groups.

Some peace monitors trust police; others don't. "I live in Whiteaker and police aren't necessarily on our side," activist Brooke Robertshaw said.

"They're not necessarily not either," massage therapist Joseph Schulz said.

photo by kevin clark and c 2003

----

this morning i then went to a non-violence panel and learned even more. i'm actually going to start a non-violence weblog so a dialogue can continue, and so that i can post specific things about non-violence there. i am very very very inspired, and look forward to more learning, to being a part of the peace movement and the non-violence movement here in eugene.

Posted by brooke at 03.00.02 PM