January 04, 2003
israeli aid package

okay, wait, before i go to bed. this is gonna sound selfish.

i just clicked over to the bbc and i saw this article: israel seeks us aid package.. the amount they want from us is $12 billion.. at least thats what i assume bn stands for.

okay. considering there is famine in ethiopia that millions are about to starve from. oh wait. and starving people in america, that bush knows about. oh wait. and americans who can't get the health care they need because the cost of insurance goes up and up and the cost of health care continues to skyrocket because in this country getting access to health care is a privilage, not a right. and the american economy continues to falter and millions of americans still can't find work and 46 states are suffering extreme budget shortfalls and i could go on and on and on..

all this time georgie boy is spending billions upon billions of dollars on this stupid war crap. and now he's probably going to give money to a government who is just as terroristic as our own.

well i say CRAP. its time to stop investing in killing people and start investing in feeding them, educating them, employing them, making sure that they have adequate health care.

i still can't believe congress is fretting over prescription coverage for medicare! FUCK! take it from someone who is probably going to be on medicaid within the next year or so. i CANNOT afford my drugs w/o help, and i CANNOT go without them. its like a rock and a hard place, eh? no, my drugs don't help much, but what help they do provide pretty much keep me alive.

so, this aid that israel is looking for. for once i'm thinking maybe its time to look inward.

or wait.. even better. YEAH!!!! cut the department of the defense budget by 50-60%, send $12bn to israel, $12bn to palestine, $12bn to ethiopia, and the rest, well fuck- feed, educate, employ, and provide health care for americans. and if that ain't patriotic and caring for the people of the world, i don't know what is!
*note* i have no idea how much the dept. of defense budget is, but i've heard one number of around $343bn

Posted by brooke at 11.39.22 PM

my saturday

i'm actually putting an entry here.

i got a really sweet comment from a blog sister, of which i am a member. its so nice to meet you monica! and i've had such crappy days lately, and your note brought a smile to my face :) (and btw, i've added you to my list o' links)

my illness is ramping up again. i thought it was because of the holidays. but that wasn't it. its rearing its ugly head in a major big way. i've slept a big part of today, and friday. thursday after my massage i spent the rest of day in bed. i'm at my wits end medication wise and therapy wise. i'm just not sure what they can do to help. i'm going to call dr. c tommorrow, my first time calling her during non-work hours in a long time. i've got one idea, but i need to send it by her first.

i did go out and see my friend carrie at work. as usual she had kind words and such a wonderful hug for me. but another sign that i'm feeling like crap, i only felt like hanging out for a short time. she did clue me into a sale on celestial seasonings tea at albertsons, so i headed over there and got mountain chai and honey vanilla chamomille-- 2 kinds that i normally wouldn't buy. the sale will be going on till 30 january and hopefully other stores carry red zinger, my very favorite tea EVER, so i'll stock up on that.

thats it for now. i did get some cards at mother kalis that say some cool things. i'll post them here soon.

Posted by brooke at 11.20.35 PM

January 03, 2003
no click

sometimes people don't click. thats all.

Posted by brooke at 08.02.15 PM

January 01, 2003
the old year, the new one.

okay. so, everyone's doing it. and i'm a follower. sometimes. and i have been thinking about all this.

2002. she was a long year. yeah. frought with stress and depression. i never could have predicted on this day last year that my life would be what it is today. that i would be disabled. last year, on this day, the serzone was coursing through my body and it was helping. last year on this day i thought i'd finally found *the* drug. no, i could have never predicted this.

nor could i have predicted that i would both regain and loose the same friend within the span of a year. and i could not predict that that friend would mediate the discussion that took place between me and another woman, the discussion that was the ending of our friendship. even 2 weeks ago i could not have predicted what would happen on christmas eve with another friend. no, i could not have predicted such upheavel with friendships i'd put such work into.

and then my family. i could not have told you how supportive my mother and brother and father would be when i became disabled. especially my mother. yes, 2002, she has been awful, but she has been laced with many beautiful moments. and my mother and her support, well.. mom, she and i have come a long way.

and then there are my friends. i've found some, and there are some that have stayed around. the incredible lisa. i don't know how she does it, but she does. she balances family and work and everything else inbetween. and i'm grateful that i'm one of those that she balances. i love lisa. yes. we've never met face to face, but that doesn't matter. and my dear friend randy. she's another like lisa. she balances the world on her shoulders and she manages to toss me in there. and katie, back in blacksburg. we don't talk much and we hadn't seen each other since i moved out here in 1998, but she came to oregon on her honeymoon and it was like no time had passed between us. my perry and marsha. i call them regularly now. the love between us it only continues to grow, who'd think that love that big could continue to grow? and then there's the new ones. miriam, the ever busy one, but she calls to check in, even at 8am on christmas morning- just to make sure i'm okay. and carrie. such a sweet treat who says she's evil, but once you meet her, well.. the evil thing is, she wants to be evil, but look into those eyes and you know its just an act. i'm so looking forward to seeing this friendship grow and blossom. finally, last, but not certinally least, faith. she has been such a bright spot for me this year. my mind goes over what ultimately lead to our friendship and i'm blown away. and i think about all that i've learned from her in such a short time, how my *heart* has changed because of knowing her. like lisa, i don't need to have met faith face to face yet to say that i love her.

okay. now, another bright spot that was created in 2002 but will come to fruition in 2003. and last night as we were downtown eugene with so many others ringing in the new year it hit me. this is the year that my dream comes true. i'm gong to europe this year. yes, more specifically greece. but greece is a part of europe. i'm going over the atlantic ocean and landing on shores on the other side. no, it has never been my dream to go to greece. i've always dreamt about germany. but greece, well.. i just can't explain it and how even though germany has been the dream country and i'm going to greece.. greece, the more i learn it just fits me so much better! and 2003, i'm now in the year that i'm going to europe. and i'm thrilled.

and i think thats it for now. thats pretty much it of what i've been thinking about. friends, family, my illness, and a dream come true.

Posted by brooke at 09.51.38 AM

December 30, 2002
canadian anti-war movement

well, i'm home. long day. i'm surfing the web. over to common dreams. goodness. i find:

canadians plan weapons of mass destructions inspections in us...: 'Arms Inspectors' Bolster Canadian Anti-War Movement.

the canadians haven't signed on to this war thing yet. there are some high powered peaceful thinking think tanks in canada who don't think war is a good thing. half of the canadians polled don't think its a good thing. lets hope they fall on the side of peace instead of the side of, well, george w. bush and his croonies.

i figured it couldn't hurt, so i wrote the canadian prime minister. pm@pm.gc.ca i identified myself as an american citizen, gave them my full address and phone number and pleaded with him not to go to war.

oh and if you want to sign on to be a voluntary weapons of mass destruction inspector, inspecting here in the states.. go to rooting out evil to find out more information.

Posted by brooke at 11.03.31 PM

various ramblings on a monday morning during the 2002 holidays.

well, this place, minus the bedroom, actually looks like someplace that someone lives. i'm quite proud of it. yesterday my friend carrie (aka whytekitten) came over and helped clean. then my neighbor kathie came up and helped me put up my georgia o'keeffe print, blue river, (which many readers of mine are familiar with, go here and see the top and then turn it vertical thats the painting), which is my very favorite o'keeffe of all time and when i saw it i also knew was the visual representation of my word rivervision. i don't know how she did it, but it was my mom's doing, finding blue river. yesterday i also bought a papasan chair, very comfy. and i made a nice little screen free area in the living room. i created a lamp out of a beatufiul blue jar that's been sitting around and some christmas lights. a perfect spot for cat cuddling and book reading.

i'll be picking up gina at 5 in portland. i'm a bit of a nervous wreck, but all will go smoothly and i'm looking forward to meeting her, and showing her around this city that i love. i'm also looking forward to introducing her to my brood and seeing the expression on her face as she sees the pacific ocean up close for the first time.

saw bowling for columbine on saturday. it was excellent. made me want to move to canada. made my heart break. i wish he hadn't included footage of the towers falling, i'm tired of those shots. i believe that we need to hold those films sacred and not show them like we do. too much trauma is wrapped up in them, and the more we see them the more we become desentitised, the more we see them.. well, i don't see how we honor the victims by seeing those images over and over and over. but back to the movie. it really was an excellent movie, not about gun control. i believe it should be required watching by all americans. if george bush can take the world to war and spend money on killing innocents in a foreign country instead of spending money on feeding and housing innocents in this country then this movie should be required watching by all americans. i believe its a fair trade.

and on that note, i must bathe, and change litter.

Posted by brooke at 09.44.00 AM