November 30, 2002
what a day!

what a day i've had! got stuff for baking bread tommorrow (sunday), hung out with carrie, which was lots of fun, talked to gina, went walking around the base of mt. pisgah, helped my friend miriam with some moving stuff, and i got my very first hannukkah gift ever (a calendar of the greek isles).

i was really happy about the walk around mt. pisgah and the help with the move. at mt. pisgah i was just planning on walking around on some flat trails, but i ended up walking around walking up a small switch back, which 3 years ago would have been nothing, but now its a big deal. i kept looking down thinking "i'm high!" i went slow, but steady. thats the way i've always hiked. it was just so nice to be out and about. and it was sunny out, and this time i was glad it was sunny out right now. so much that i thought about. a lot of "i'm getting myself back!" and i am, slowly but surely. i love going hiking by myself. just taking off and going. i love hiking up spencer's butte which is in town, but i haven't been able to in 3 years. i'd like to be able to hike up the butte by spring. i'd like to be able to take the long trail. even if i have to take a long time. i simply love it up there. if you could see this view while still being in the city limits wouldn't you want to get back into shape?

and then going over and helping miriam was a blast. at one point i heard the comment "brooke is strong!" hahahahaha.. yeah. no, they didn't know that. can't tell that with my roly poly stomach. but i am. and i honestly didn't think i'd be able to do anything else after my hike around mt. pisgah, but my body is doing what it used too. its being very resilient. its doing everything i want it too. sometimes slowly, but its not saying no. i doubt miriam will ever doubt my strength again. and, well.. neither will i.

Posted by brooke at 07.59.17 PM

agh. i so think that sometimes i live in hickville. first it was the bathing suit. and i've been waiting for broadband to get to whiteaker for over a year now. dammit! and i forget what else it was that i wanted but couldn't get here in eugene.. sometimes it makes me think i should move back east. its a damn good thing i love this place. its a damn good thing this city is as wonderful as it is. *sigh*

now that i'm officially poor. well, not poverty... well, hmm.. considering how much money is coming in this month. okay. thats all i'll say on that subject. i'm finding that i've actually started really pay attention to what i can get where for the best prices. for right now i think overall fred meyer is the best overall place to shop. its got the bulk spices i want, its a bit cheaper than albertsons. but the selection at albertsons is more what i want, and milk at albertsons is cheaper. and i can get cheap chicken that i can broil in my toaster oven at albertsons. but fred meyer carries tofu dogs and apple cider. albertsons has the best cat litter selection though. also the best cat food selection. but petco is far better for cat food. and red barn is best for bulk yeast. and for spices too. but the red apple is best for those late night cravings for sweets, being that its close and its got cheap processed pastries.

so, am i the only one who does this?

i baked bread for thanksgiving. it was a big hit. and i had a blast making it. it was a recipe from the nantahala outdoor center cookbook. took me back. it was so rewarding and i had so much fun sharing it that i'm going to make more. plus i'm not sure i can go back to store bought, even after one loaf.

and on that note i'm going to finish this boring post.

Posted by brooke at 01.35.08 PM

November 29, 2002
friday morning

okay. lets see what i have to say thiis morning.

spent last night downloading more music. this time more dar williams. yes, i really like her. and i decided to go get some iris dement. she's really bad. not her lyrics.. she's on the "songcatcher" soundtrack, and in the movie, and i thought that she was only in character, but she's not. i've decided she's a female bob dylan. lots of people love her, but her voice grates on me. but while i was downloading all this music i happened to download a lucy kaplansky song, now she's great! so, i'll be going after her now, instead of iris dement. i also went after more steve earle, but most of his stuff is just a bit to hard for my tastes right now.

what else? oh, a friend might be coming west around the next set of holidays. i'm hoping it happens cause i could use the visit. even though my finances are ultra tight over the next two months. i know she'll be understanding about that. i actually said to smudge a couple of minutes after i woke up "do you think if i do xxxxxxx that the goddess will be more inclined to send xxxxxxxxx west?"

this space is going to be redesigned once i get an idea. the flower just aren't the right thing for my state of being anymore.

i've added a bunch of new news services over there --->. this space is my portal to the world. and that being said, i've become interested in what is being said beyond the very much slanted mainstream american news services, and the very much slanted liberal news services. yeah, i said that. all news services are terribly slanted. so, i've put up what i believe are a smattering of news services from areas of the world that i'm intersted in. i've put up both isreali and palestinian news, and one that works to show both sides, i've put up the official news service of the iraqi government, the addis tribune -- no real big bias there, just my own personal interest cause my dear stepfather is there for 2 years and my mom goes over there a whole lot, transitions online- news from central and eastern europe, common dreams, and of course the guardian and the bbc.

i've always known how very much american centric i am, we are in the states. but this world of ours.. well, its really fucked up. and i'm in this place in my life of change. i'm in this place in my life where i have time to see what is being said in different places. and i believe its important for me to see what is being said. its important for me to see the word enemy and to know that thats me.

it all plays into what might be next. which i'm not sure. but i might have ideas playing into my head. i might want to do something international. *sigh* i really don't know. but there is a whole world out there, beyond eugene, beyond blacksburg. whole peoples and places. and whole different ways of thinking. whole different perspectives. that jolt was made very evident on 9/11/2001 and the aftermath in which we are living.

i'm just rambling. i do that exceptionally well, if you don't already know that.

and on that note, i should probably put some substenance in my body.

Posted by brooke at 11.08.37 AM

November 28, 2002
thanksgiving

i'm just sitting down after a long long day (wednesday). so, i'm going to do my best to make my thanksgiving day post. i was originally going to do a post about the real thanksgiving and all that.. and then apologizing, cause word is is that i'm descended from folks who came over on the mayflower (and folks who fought in the revolutionary war, can't get anymore american than me, eh?).. but i'm not going to do that, cause this thanksgiving comes during this whole changing process for me.. so instead i'm going to do something really sappy.

ready?

what am i thankful for....

• mothers who can listen with their hearts, even from 3000 miles away.

• fathers who do the same.

• brothers who make weekly dates.

• stepfathers who go to foreign countries to heal them,

• stepmothers who go to foreign countries to learn to heal people.

• aunts and uncles who's faces haven't been seen but in who's hearts you know you remain.

• grandparents past in the stars,

• grandparents present by the ocean.

• sisters-in-law who knit.

• vinyl-loving hipsters who's era will never pass.

• druidic lesbians.

• fire-mouthed, peace-loving chicks in iowa.

• fat poets.

• doctors and therapists who know and speak understanding.

• max's aunt.

• white cats.

• whyte cats.

• loud-mouthed feminists.

• spicy but sweet cinnamon.

• babies planning revolutions.

• lmt's who love their phreedom!

• weblogging mamas.

• a passport to anywhere.

• tickets to europe.

• time to contemplate.

• time to live.

• the land that surrounds.

• the state that i live.

• the home of the anarchists.

• the water that flows.

• the mountains of magma covered with snow.

• the ocean so cold.

• the old new river.

• the 22 year old duck.

• the smudges and the news and the bears and the pees.

• the sight of life through so many fingerseyeskeyboardsmouses.

• the chance to start over again.

• the support of those who love me, even when i don't think they do.

• my cat family and all their antics and campanionship.

• this life of mine and the many twists and turns it takes.
  

okay. your turn.

what are YOU thankful for?

Posted by brooke at 12.21.16 AM

November 26, 2002
greece on the brain

i *so* have my trip to greece on the brain.

yesterday i was on my way to go swimming and on the way there i turned right instead of left and ended up at the coast instead of the y. i'd not been to the coast in awhile. i'd not been to the coast by myself in a long time. it was a great day to be at the coast. it was sunny, but there werent many people there. and the sea lions were there! while i was there i kept thinking to myself that in 4 months i'll be walking along beaches on the agean sea. the water will be warmer, i should be able to go swimming. it will be the agean sea. i kept trying to imagine what the beaches would be like.. i'm hoping that there won't be logs from clear cuts strewn all about.

last night i dreamt about the trip. i dreamt about being there, i dreamt about talking to j, our family friend who used to lead tours there. thats the second or third night in a row that i've dreamt about the trip.

every time i go to the store i look for foods that say "product of greece" on the label. i'm constantly wondering what it will be like to actually be like to touch down in athens. and on one of the re-runs of "friends" they had ross going to greece and i was thinking "hey, i've got tickets to athens too!"

i know, its not like the trip is for a really long time. and the days will fly by. and it is 4 months away. and lots of stuff can happen in 4 months. it really is a dream come true, this traveling to europe thing. i still can't believe that i'm going. and there are stressors to overcome, esp. the next two months. but, like i said, this trip is a dream come true. i've been wanting to go to europe since i was 8-9-10? 10 at the oldest. and i'm going. and i can't wait. and i've got the passport and the tickets. and i'm working out, and and and.. and its in my dreams, and i can't wait until it stops being in my dreams and it is actually under my feet.

ps
if its going to be this cold in the willamette valley, i demand snow!

Posted by brooke at 09.40.56 AM