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November 15, 2002 friday i've been cleaning all day. i just made a discovery. i shouldn't attempt to move furniture.. even a small empty bookcase when i've been cleaning all day, yet haven't put anything in my body except a small drink of water. smart one brooke. i'm not even nearly done. with the living room. though the kitchen is almost done. just gotta pick up all the stuff that is now thrown in from the living room, go over the floor a bit more, and do the stove top. but i can now make fruit smoothies (once i get some fruit), tea of nearly any kind, and espresso and lattes (once someone shows me how to work the latte / espresso maker that i salvaged out of friend's goodwill pile.. its a krups). and the cats are delighted cause i have unearthed all sorts of cat toys. but they are pissed cause i've neglected to feed them. i guess i should do that before max gets any more pissed. but i have finally played alison krauss's "new union".. i've never listened to her, but i happened to make a copy of the cd for a friend and copied it on to my hard drive. she's excellent! i've also finally gotten around to listening to the new mongrel's "big cup of empty".. another one to recommend. okay, now, when is this juice going to kick in? Posted by brooke at 05.29.58 PM
collar war
well, mr. smudge and i have been having a collar war as of late. i think i've won, and i'm pretty sure he knows it. i just have to make sure every thing fits right and he's not hurting at all... i was cleaning the kitchen today and i happened upon the harness i got for lily when we drove out here to oregon from virginia 4 years ago. its something he can't take off on his own. and being that he's an indoor cat i don't thbink it'll be a problem. i put it on him and he was way pissed, but after about 1/2 an hour he seems to be adjusting. he's already been on top of the fridge. i might have to do some more adjusting to it.. but i think i've won.
its sad
its a sad day when one's blogging world and one's blogging friends feel more supportive and more real than one's friends and community in one's hometown. agh. i need to replace one's with my. Posted by brooke at 08.35.15 AMNovember 14, 2002 today i so do not have any money to spend over the next 3 months. a story i don't wish to tell. but on tuesday i went to the nursery to help with winter holiday gift stuff. we put together requests for gifts for the kids that then members of the community will then hopefully pick up and donate. i worked on the list from the classroom that i volunteer in. i noticed that a lot of the requests were for a busy box. now, this toy rocks! one was donated to the nursery and one of the lead teachers made sure it got to our classroom. it's got music, and a pop up thingy, and a clock to play with, and a phone, and gears, and a shape sorter.. all the babies love it.. from the music to the gears to the pop up thing, to the mirror.. and it grows with the kids. anyhow, i had this crazy idea that maybe i could come up with the bucks to get one in case someone doesn't come through. so i went to elephants trunk to see how much it was. a lot less than i expected. i don't have the bucks, but i'm gonna see what i can do. the donations have to be in by 4 december. and i really adore all the kids. and it really is a great toy. and it really would be way beneficial. and the families are struggling. and so am i. i've loaned some money to someone. if they pay me back, i can afford it, i'm pretty sure. and i'd really like to be able to help out as much as i can. i look at these kids.. i adore them. i really do. and their families are working so hard, just like mine did when i was their age. my mom did. it'd be nice to be able to imagine any of their faces when they open that gift and see that busy box toy, ya know? and the look on the faces of their parents. the imagination of the faces, thats the thing that i think about. anyhow. i hope i can pull it off. while i was at the mall i did get myself something. a really interesting book. i usually don't read poetry, but i was really drawn in.. catch the fire!!! a cross-generational anthology of contemporary african-american poetry. it was on sale.. i really don't like poetry, unless its spoken.. but this stuff is good.. and i understand it. i think thats why i generally don't like poetrty.. all the symbolism, i don't get social signals that aren't in my face obvious, i don't understand it.. and if i don't understand it, i don't want to read it. but this collection.. its wonderful.. i'm reading it outloud, and that makes it even better. but what makes this book even best is something i said in my 100 things.. "i'm not a racist, but i have no idea about how to bridge the racial divide." well.. i've attempted to read bell hooks and audre lorde.. i've not made much progress.. i do have friends of color. but i, well.. when you boil my life down, its very white. maybe i'll learn something. i'm not expecting a lot, but something. and then i'll pick up another book. and another. and i'll continue to converse. and maybe one day in my future i will be able to say "i now feel comfortable bridging the racial divide in my community." i know i'll never be an expert, but.. oh goodness i hope i'm making sense. Posted by brooke at 08.27.10 PMNovember 13, 2002 chlorine smell i've finally discovered what will take the smell of chlorine smell out of my skin..... baby. yes, now i smell like baby. much better than chlorine. Posted by brooke at 01.14.20 PMNovember 12, 2002 watch out. i tell ya.. if this war crap keeps me from going on my trip to greece... or if it in some way causes my flights over there, or the ferry to lesvos to be cancelled... i am going to be one pissed of person. and i am going to blame each and every one of you war mongersyou know who you are. i'm related to some of you. and i'm not even joking. i'm overly anxious. i panic easily. i'm already fretting. i'm sick of war talk. this is my dream trip. and i will be pissed. faith is lucky. you know why? cause i like her. wait. no. she's under the list of people i love. so, yeah. faith is lucky. she's one of those crazy republicans. (she admitted on election day.) she's one of those crazy consesrvatives. oh, yeah. and so is the ripperman. he's lucky too. damn gun tottin' freak. he's on that list of people i adore. yeah.. so every one of you war mongers out there... if my trip gets fucked up because of this fucking georgie boy fun-fest... it will be you that i will hold accountable. and it will be you that gets the crazy phone call from who knows what time zone (cause who knows where they'll route me too) because i'll be all stressed out, not my therapist (oh goodness, just wait till i tell her! she'll be delighted!). and believe you me, you do not want to get that phone call.. just ask my therapist. cause its not fun. so all you war mongers out there, except faith and the ripperman (and i should add anyone else who is pro-war who is under "people i love" or "people i adore"), you'd better start hoping now that my trip does not get fucked up because of this world wide fun fest in the desert. yes. if you didn't get it, it is no longer about sadaam and the people of iraq, it is now all about me. ps pps November 11, 2002 goodness. what a day. new old drug. my decision. my decision about the dosage. my decision about how to go up to the dosage. oh goodness... yes, this is a sign that i've been around the block with this illness.. just give me a menu... "umm.. i'll, ahhh..., take the, ahhh, celexa. yes, the celexa. i'll take 40 mg of the celxa, in 20mg tablets. i'd like to start out at 10mg and work my way up every few days, okay?" "oh, and for a side i'll stick with the 100mg of topamax. yes, the two go together most excellently." "and yes, i'll be staying with the amitryptilene, xanax, and iron tablets." "oh wait.. do you have anything help *put* me to sleep, cause the amitryptilene keeps me asleep, but it doesn't put me there." yes, i've been here for too long. Posted by brooke at 11.54.07 PM
new hair
before:
ps November 10, 2002 disturbing private ryan was on abc tonight. it was on because veterans day in the states is on monday. so it was on to honor the veterans. now, i didn't watch much of private ryan, because its violent and i have a hard time watching violent movies. but i did manage to catch a battle scene at the end of the movie. well. my mind kept going back to this whole war thing. you know, this war with iraq thing. i'm watching these images on my tv screen. i'm horrified by these images on my tv screen. i'm horrified by these images on my tv screen, which, i think, is smaller than my 17" computer monitor. so you can imagine that these horifying images aren't exactly life size, and i can't begin to even imagine what these images would begin to be like if they were life size. now, i'm thinking.. why would anyone want to subject anyone else to this? why would anyone who has experienced this, or who's father or grandfather, or or or.. want to subject anyone to this? and then my brain goes to gandhi. and i'm wondering where his lessons are in all this. where his lessons are in the brains of the un security council, where his lessons play into the mind of sadaam hussein, george w. bush, george bush, sr, and all those who came after gandhi who have waged war. see.. but then my brain goes beyond gandhi. it goes far beyond gandhi. all these "great" world leaders profess to believe in a higher power. i know that the one that we here in the states elected does. now, my question is, where does that higher power play into it? see, i wasn't raised with any sort of higher power. okay, thats a lie. my grandmother, my mom's mom, took my brother and i to her fundamentalist church. at one point, for one summer, i believed. but then during my teens it came to my attention that it was churches like my grandmother's who were saying that i was evil and that my socio-political beliefs were going to send me to hell (i come from the same state as both patty boy and jerry boy). so, back to my point. all these so called world leaders, if you asked them, would profess to having some sort of higher power, yes? and aren't higher powers about bringing peace and saving lives? isn't that what bushy-boy and johnny-boy are trying to do by doing every possible thing to get rid of roe v wade and oregon's death with dignity? saving lives? but then they want to run into war. and really, i don't understand it. if religion is about life and peace and evolution to a greater sense of peace then how come we are so war mongering? how come all these people who claim they believe in a higher power want to go out and kill people? where is the sense in that? are humans not evolved enough to be able to rise above our animalistic instincts to kill each other? and how come i, who really doesn't have any particular higher power, doesn't belive we should go to war? how come i and so many others like me believe that peace is the answer, not war? and how come we are made fun of? and how come we are not listened to by those in power? and how come all of those of us who believe that peace is the answer and not war are considered alternative? and how come we aren't taken seriously? and why is anger taken more seriously than diplomacy? when in everyday one on one situations we tend to reject angry outbursts? why can't we apply the one on one interactions to the larger scale one one country interactions? even if the leader of the other country is a bit nuts. Posted by brooke at 12.40.49 AM |
I sing with you
Solo: on her own adventure, ed. Susan Fox Rogers Cunt: A declaration of independence, Inga Muscio
Various Dar Williams Various John Denver
movies i wanna see
american civil liberties union unitarian universalist association
admired
enjoyed
july 14 in the life of brooke (for patti's day o' pics)
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