October 25, 2002
oh whiteaker!

oh whiteaker how do i love thee!

one of the things about my neighborhood that i just absolutely adore is that i can go out looking any old way.

e.g. right now. i'm sick. (yes, the illness i've been fighting off has finally descended upon me.. my throat hurts, my mucus is yellow, i'm spacey and i'm tired, even after 12 hours of sleep.. luckily i've got a drs. appointment already scheduled on monday.) and i look like shit. i've just pulled on some pants under my dress / nightgown thingy. i'm about to throw my hair up in a ponytail.. i've got no bra on.. and i've got a sweater on over my nightgown thingy.. no one is going to give a damn.

i love it. in fact, i'll fit right in.. much better than if i were in my old work clothes.

Posted by brooke at 12.58.02 PM

muhammad

okay.. so when i saw that one of the last names of the sniper suspects was muhammad my heart dropped. why? because this country is already arab and muslim bashing. this country already suspects the arab world and the muslim world of all sorts of evil deeds and i know that this is not going to help anything. so then i go over to salon and i read this in their headlines:

The media is fixating on John Allen Muhammad's Muslim beliefs.

being that i've not actually watched any tv since the story broke, i don't know if this is true. and being that cnn is covering the death of a senator instead of this story i don't know.. but you know what? i wouldn't doubt it.

so, it seems that the arab and muslim community just can't seem to get a break in this country. even if %99.999999999999999999999999999999999999999999 of them actually DON'T hate us and actually DON'T want us all dead. when actually there are more white christian guys who are doing the vast majority of bad shit in this country than arabs and muslims.. but of course the media and the government doesn't even want to look at that.. noooo they don't want to consider that it is their own people that are the bad guys. no no no no no.

so yes. i hate to see a group of innocent people constantly being victimized. for no reason at all except that human beings like to do that. except for human beings, by nature, like to find an easy scape goat for all their problems.. even when its bullshit.

so we have more proof that its the arabs and the muslims are bad now that they have arrested someone with the last name of muhammad...

agh. simply agh.

Posted by brooke at 12.44.27 PM

October 24, 2002
thursday night

apparently they might have caught the snipers in dc/va/md. i hope to goddess they have.

on another note. got my passport photos taken today. i have to wait till i get my next check to go apply for my passport. also found out that i'll be covered for emergency medical coverage while i'm in greece. this is good. i like to get things done early when planning something like this, so i can relax as much as possible when crunch time comes. i've also figured out that i'll probably also spend the majority of my vacation on the island of lesvos. and that i'm going to attempt to deal with my jet lag before i head over there. since in don't work i can deal with getting on athens time before i leave. i can get help from my dear friend randy who works graveyard. that way i won't have to waste anytime dealing with it when i get over there. what else? oh yeah, i don't think i'm gonna drive to portland and then take the train from there to seattle, i think i'll take the train to seattle. *and* i think i'll head to seattle on the 23rd, just in case there are problems with the train. finally, i'm going to make a reservation at the green tortiise hostel in seattle for the night of the 23rd and the night of the 8th.

and more planning ahead... my 30th birthday is the 23rd of february. the 22nd is a saturday. my friend gl and i are going to plan something good for it. we discussed something preliminary today. we discussed gifts.. i told her no gifts, just donations.. for the brooke's greece trip fund.. or, as i put it a few minutes later-- gl and larry's gift from greece fund. gl has been so wonderfully supportive and exciited for me, and so encouraging.. and it was larry who suggested greece and gl who said "go for it".. so, without them i might not have gotten the guts to decide to go.. but, with gl's help the party should be a great one.

finally. i got to spend an hour with miriam today. not on her table, just with her. it was nice. our plans got cancelled last night, which was very very upsetting to me. she had a cancellation so she called me and we got together. we talked about her stuff and my stuff. we laughed and hugged and told each other that we loved the other. and i do love her very much. and i don't know what it is about her, but i do love her very very much. and i am grateful to the goddess for placing her in my life. i just love her. and i just feel so incredibly safe when i am with her. she's a friend and a mother and a friend. we might see each other this weekend, but if not we'll see each other wednesday.

and on that note, i'm done.

Posted by brooke at 08.42.16 PM

anti-depressants

so, i've pretty much concluded that my current anti-depressant, lexapro, is not working. i knew it last week.

i talked to gl last night about it.. she said "let greece be your anti-depressant for now" .... i think she's got something there.

anyhow. yesterday i went and interviewed with the Y and got financial aid. so, once my check comes for november i'll join. they've got a pool, weight room, offer lots of different kinds of classes, and and and... so.. i'll be getting in shape so i can...... walk around greece in 5 months.

then i went over to the book store and............ looked at language books and tapes.. saw two that seemed good. "teach yourself greek" and "inflight greek".. one that will teach me to read and write the language and the other that will teach me important phrases. also, last night i found a site where you can hook up with people to correspond with to practice a language. thats a BIG maybe.

also i've been searching the web for newspaper links so that i can keep up with the day to day happenings in the country. yes, i'm only going for 2 weeks, but it would be nice to know *something* about the socio-political climate of the place, yes? anyhow, what else do i have to do with my time?

and on that note, i'm gonna go back to sleep.

Posted by brooke at 10.39.44 AM

October 23, 2002

a friend that i really really wanted to see cancelled our plans tonight. she forgot to ask all the parties involved BEFORE she invited me if it were okay that she invited me.

i am WAY dissapointed.

a lesson to all.. MAKE SURE YOU ASK ALL PARTIES INVOLVED BEFORE INVITING AN UNKNOWN ALONG.. just to avoid situations just like the one *I* am now in.

yeah, lets call this the crash after the excitement of the greece trip.

goody.

how long before i leave?

to freakin' long.

btw. if you want to get me a christmas present, or a 30th birthday present (2/23).. don't get me anything.. i am setting up a fund. brooke's greece trip fund.. $1, $2, $3, more.. whatever you'd like to give.. the costs continue to build, beyond the getting to in the air and being there stuff... its gonna be over 100.00 just in the pac nw alone (train to seattle).. and then there's the passport getting.. and and and.. so... (note: this is actually aimed at the family members who read this, not any of the friends who read this).

Posted by brooke at 08.54.29 PM

wednesday morning

its wednesday morning and i'm tired. but i get up and go about my business.

i'm supposed to be getting together with my friend miriam tonight. she's not gotten back to me about the time yet, and about whether i can ride with her.. if she doesn't by the time i'm done at the y today, i'll go hunt her down at work. i hope we're still on, i really need some miriam energy. the excitement of the past two days has been pretty outrageous and her energy is so incredibly calming.

i'm very overwhelmed by all this sniper news. it continues to come closer and closer to home -- especially now that he's done his business around richmond, va. i have a stepbrother there. my brother's in-laws are in the dc area, and we've got a stepbrother in richmond. i wonder where the sniper is going to strike next that we've got someone close to us. i don't like it. i simply do not like it. and i'm tired of hearing about it on the news.

but on the positive side of things.. i'm glad that my friend won her case and i was just thinking.. i wish my 10.5 hour lay over on my way to greece were in nyc instead of london because then maybe i could see her. anyhow.. way to go faith!

and lisa. you need to post. if todd can post, you can post. :P

what else? i think thats it for now. anyways, i've got to get dressed.

Posted by brooke at 08.58.56 AM

October 22, 2002
my tickets are here!

my tickets are here! my tickets are here! i'm gong to athens, greece! i'm going to athens greece! i'm shaking! i'm shaking! i'm shaking!

now all i need to get is a passport! luckily i've got 5 months! hahahahaha. and get in shape!

but seriously. this is a life long dream, this going across the atlantic thing. this going to europe thing. really. i've had serious dreams about going to europe since i was 10. this is essientally a life long dream of mine. and now i'm going. i CANNOT believe it.

i have my friend gl to thank. she's the one who said "go for it." and both my bio parents are totally supportive of it.

i cannot believe it. my name on tickets that say "seattle tacoma / london heathrow" "london heathrow / athens" (that would be greece, *not* georgia!)

how often does a life long dream come true?

Posted by brooke at 01.09.18 PM

my trip in 5 months

so, i've talked to all of the parental figures in my life.. well.. most of them. my father, my perry, my mom, my therapist. i've not yet talked to my marsha or my miriam yet. but all the ones i've talked to have been very supportive of my trip.

i was worried about what my bio-folks would say.. being that i'm leaning on them for month to month support. but they have been very supportive. my mom emailed me and said "wonderful".. my dad said that the trip sounds great, but that he would worry. i told my dad that i would worry about him during his month long stay in thailand.

i picked up the book "lets go greece" yesterday. my perry recommended it to me. its a great book for the budget traveler. the more i look at the island of lesvos the more i think i'm going to spend a lot of time there. its got thermal springs, caves, castles and even a petrified forest!

so, i've got to spend the next months getting into better shape. i'm going to be doing a lot of walking. and greece is very hilly. my therapist will like this.

so. on that note. i've got a website to work on.

Posted by brooke at 10.50.20 AM

October 21, 2002
vacation

i'm gong on vacation in march. i'm going on vacation to greece. as a friend put it.. i'm going to visit the motherland aka.. the island of lesbos. march / april for 2 weeks.

Posted by brooke at 09.52.45 PM