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friday night insomnia ramble.

so, some psycho bitch that i know from my first year or so living here in eugene happened into my lane at the y today. that was fine with me until she started doing her crazy version of freestyle and stopped paying attention to the fact that there was anyone else in the lane with her. she ran into me. luckily that was 35 minutes into my swim. sort of luckily. i would have liked to have spent more time, but i was so pissed that i had to get out rather than risk two things-- a) her recognizing me and b) it happening again. but its 1.15am and i know i didn't swim long enough and its all that stupid bitches fault.

okay, so i am in a bad mood and its really not her fault. its, well.. i'm just in a bad mood and i can't go into it. because i would sound all petty and shit and i can't do that. i'm just sick and tired of things that i do and things that other people do. and furthermore, i *can* say this, i'm tired of my cats being so fucking needy when i need not to be touched by their furry bodies.

yes, i feel like shit, again. what's new? nothing. its a 3 day weekend. whoo hoo. that doesn't mean anything when you are on permanent weekend. all i care about is how fast the end of march comes. its not coming fast enough. screw the 30th birthday, i just want the end of march to come. yeah, remember? thats when i go on, what is now known as "my trip".. its been shortened from "brooke's trip to greece." or re: "my trip to greece." to simply "my trip." even if i happened to have a chance to go back east between now and then my trip to greece would still be "my trip." as that one is the big one. back east, well, compared to greece, on the way to greece i'm going to just pass right over it. so, yes, i feel like shit. big time shit. i mean i've alerted the therapist. "i'm in crisis mode again." luckily i see the doc on monday. not that she can really do anything except for give me the prescription i want but she'll at least be a bit of a morale booster, and her secretary is bound to have pics of her grandchild. yes, i go in there enough to now be on that kind of basis with her secretary, d, that i ask how her grandchild is doing and when she's going to bring in more pics.

i'm just rambling. i should be asleep. oh yes, and i'm back on the xanax. i'm in that much of a crisis. i think only one of you will get that. but thats the other advantage of seeing dr c. on monday, she'll give me something better for sleep than xanax and hopefully i can avoid getting addicted for a 3rd time.

now, i just need to start remembering to put alchol in my ears after i go swimming. i've only had one bad case of swimmers ear, but it was so bad i still remember and i'm a bit paranoid about it.

Not in Our Name

United For Peace: Join the anti-war movement

I sang for you
though you did not hear
and I sang to the tree spirits
asking them to release your fear
every living thing is vulnerable
I'm powerless to change that
Still I sing for you

I sing with you
though you may not hear
we sing for your spirit
may it rise above fear
every living thing is vulnerable
I'm powerless to change that
Still I sing with you
c 2000 rebecca riots
(esp. here for lw)

population, enviornment, abortion, religion and fatherhood by alfred f. robertshaw

rainy day records

(click on the word "read" to see more books)

Solo: on her own adventure, ed. Susan Fox Rogers

Cunt: A declaration of independence, Inga Muscio

Songcatcher soundtrack, various

Various Dar Williams

Various John Denver

movies i wanna see
my big fat greek wedding
bowling for columbine
evelyn
the hours
the pianist

finally free: how love and self acceptance saved us from "ex-gay" ministries

no war collective

ms. magazine

carolyn gage

alix olson

off our backs

adiosbarbie

bloodsisters

american civil liberties union

breast cancer action

unitarian universalist association

depression center @ webmd

depressioNet

anarchy

quotes from all over

wnba

friends
faith
justlisa
the boston dyke
whytekitten

admired
bliss
cinnamon
dania's dalies
gammerstang
goddess musings
i must
the ripperman

enjoyed
#!/usr/bin/girl
.found
a day in the life
aka cooties
all about george
aspirations to sweetness
beth's journal
bite this
boodleblog
coldmarble musings
coffee talk
easy bake coven
eric brooks
~fletk
fluffy battle kitten
i'm thinking wicked thoughts
i bet you like to watch
i will survive
in passing
jill matrix
maggie turner: a woman's journal
mar
marigold
meandmyself
ms. musings
negative subspace
revolution9
soapboxgirls
scowtz
shooting stars
the bwg
the evil twin theory
the rape blog
trabaca
veiled4allah
we Have brains
zeldman
powered by me.

my blogathon blog (done for mother kalis books in eugene, oregon.)

july 14 in the life of brooke (for patti's day o' pics)

blog sisters

globe of blogs

« # pacific northwest blogs ? »

addis tribune
alternative information center
bbc
bbc:africa
common dreams
cnn.com
eugene weekly
guardian unlimited
guardian unlimited | weblog
ha'aretz
iraqi news agency
jerusalem post
kathimerini
palestinian chronicle
salon
transitions online
village voice
bbc:weather in addis ababa

kathimerini
sappho travel: information about traveling on the island of lesvos
athens greece
greek ferries
bbc:weather in athens, greece
weather in mytilini, island of lesvos, greece:
>

brooke is a lesbian, radical feminist, cat lover, bibliophile, non-smoker, unitarian universalist (though she doesn't go to fellowship on a regular basis) and in the process of becoming athletic again. she dreams of being jeanne d' arc and swooping in and saving those that need saved (though she'd rather not be burned at the stake). she is a loyal friend who will do anything she can for those she loves, but she can flakey sometimes when her depression flares up. she is a loner. a southerner self-transplanted to the pacific northwest in 1998 and now believes that it doesn't rain enough here. she's known for her honesty, she can't help it, its the only way to be. she is 4'8" tall, and round. she has natural blonde hair and she also has blue eyes. she is very intense. she hates small and large crowds, she prefers the one on one or the one on a few. she has no idea what she wants to do with her life, though she would like to see more of the world than what she has seen so far (a good part of the continental united states) and she very much wants to be a mother. finally, she has huge crushes on alix olson and carolyn gage (these are from a far).