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positive light
okay, so. lets see, how do i write this, when she might read it? better timing. yes. better timing. on both of our parts. both of our lives are up in the air right now, where we are going to land, we don't know. *but* at least we get to hang out together as friends, and hopefully support each other through our own personal "whats gonna happen next?" and "wtf is my brain going to do about it?" and you never know, the timing might become right. so, the positive light, yes. she's incredibly sweet, shy, smart, and strong (though she doesn't know it... i told her tonight that *i* don't hang out with weak women. i can sense a weak woman from a mile away, at least a mile away if a relationship of any sort is about to happen. and while they might have positive qualities, in the end the relationship just won't work out, because *i* will walk all over them, and then feel guilty, and thats just bad for a relationship of any kind). and as i'd written here last night, but took it down because i wasn't sure how she'd take it, and now i've said it too her, she has more to offer the world than i think she realizes.
so good. a new friend. i need new friends like the east coast needs water. and if we were to have a relationship, that would be great too. but what would be perfect, in my eyes, is a good friend and the relationship to go with it. so, till then / if it happens, at least i've got a new positive light in my life, and i'm thrilled. oh, and if you read this, and you don't know its about you.. well. you will.. how can you not?
on other fronts. there isn't much to report. got the dental stuff from the insurance.. i've been approved to have lots of painful procedures done and spend money i don't have.
on the disability insurance front, nothing. its a wait and see game. another reason not to have a realtionship right now, i'm not stable till i get a stable disabliltiy income and am able to live within its means.
anything else? oh yeah. this whole new look thingy. i like it. i don't know what others think of it. but i like it and thats all that counts.
and on that note its time to lie down and deal with my sleep deamons.
oh wait, did i tell you i have a massage this week? hahahahaha, i'll be telling you every day! my left arm is still bothering me, so this is good. but not in the same place. the pain moves.
i also have 2 hours of psychological testing to look forward too on tuesday.. woooo weee, and an argument with my dr about whether to stay on this current drug or not. i'll say to her--- its not the fucking drug, its that positive light. whenever someone new enters my life my mood raises. so, there! you haven't known me long enough. its the positive light and the massage therapist. you can call k and ask her how thursday and friday were. :P.
and on that note, i'm drifting, i hope. g'night.
Posted by brooke at August 26, 2002 12.56.48 AM
Comments
Thanks for the positive light in my email box this morning. I've stopped crying when I think about. Now, I just get a little teary. Much more managable.
Oh, I love, love, love the redesign. Very cool.
I'm feeling inspired to change mine again. Not the colors, which I'm really happy with, but the formatting. But, it might be a while.
Thank you, Brooke.
Posted by Cinnamon at August 26, 2002 9:01 AM
1) LOVE the new look. Very alive.
2) HATE you. Why? cause I listened to Alix & fell in love. I visit her site on Friday and see that she's in town! Problem? I had to be in the burbs on Friday. No if's, and's, or but's about it. So she came & went from Chicago without me witnessing her glory. *sigh*
3) Oh, ok...I still love you. Esp since you added the remember me box. :)
Posted by Roni at August 26, 2002 9:43 AM
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